Narcissism is a mental conduction officially known as Narcissistic Personality disorder (NDP). It is still being studied and understood. NDP is a spectrum ranging from no traits at all to extreme narcissistic behaviour which may be dangerous to the individual or others. A medical diagnosis requires assessment by a professional trained and experienced in the field although some characteristics are easier to spot than others. One familiar trait of narcissism is self denial, so a true narcissist will rarely admit they have a problem and seek help. Treatments being offered usually involve therapy although it is still a emerging field slowed by the lack of potential personas coming forward.
It is known that any gender can be high on the spectrum and is thought to originate around teenage or young adolescent years which is when the behaviour starts appearing.
Aside from the medical terms. A narcissist is an individual who is predominantly only able to or willing to think of themselves. This is in comparison to people who can think of themselves, but are also willing and able to seeing others point of view which leads to adapted behaviour. For example realising that your shouting makes another person cry and not shouting in future.
A narcissist may appear to live in a bubble of their own self perception and find it very difficult to show true empathy for others. It is common so see Narcissists as people who have an excessive self importance which they impose on those around them. A narcissist like this will very quickly let you know they are more important than you. There are also narcissists which have very slow self esteem and exist in a narrative where the world is always against them, this is covert narcissism and is harder to identify. Whichever trait is present, most narcissists desire to be the focus of attention in some way and will manipulate those around them to re-enforce their identity.
It is normal for anyone to exhibit narcissistic traits sometimes, however a narcissist will exhibit them all the time. Those individuals have spent years or decades living this way and evolving their persona in order to get the response they insatiably need from others. Challenging a narcissist is almost impossible because they have difficulty perceiving any thoughts other than their own. Attempting to change a narcissists view will provoke a strong response as they need to re-enforce their own position. This includes adamant denial of being a narcissist. Those with strong traits are fully capable of lying, being aggressive and pre-emptive in their manipulative behavior in order to ensure those around them cannot challenge their view.
This lack of understanding how their behaviour affects others can unfortunately be dangerous. Narcissistic people crave their own story to be reflected back to them because it is the only one they are willing or able to recognise. They can be emotionally manipulative, dishonest and disloyal with ease. Whatever it takes to protect their persona. That’s not to say they all are the same, but it is important to be aware. A narcissist may initially try to win your response with charm or convincing stories, but when that stops being effective, they will switch to another strategy.
Whatever the medical outcomes. All people are valuable and diversity is something worth celebrating. Numerous people are affected by manipulative relationships with narcissists who may be partners, family or co-workers. It is essential to seek help if you suspect you are being controlled by another without consent. Do further research, talk to a trusted friend or medical professional. It is very normal to seek counselling and get an independent perspective. An experienced counsellor will offer advice and coping strategies applicable to your situation.
Narracistic behaviours include:
- Difficulty admitting fault or saying sorry
- Expecting special treatment
- A need to know where significant others are constantly and what they are doing
- Talking about how important they are
- Disrupting other from achieving success
- Becoming disproportionately angry if they do not get what they want
- Insisting others are wrong and be dismissive of their opinions
- Changing versions of events to make others at fault
- Refusing to accept help or see a doctor.
Covert Narcissists
- Similar, but will talk about how others are attacking them
- Very low self-esteem
- Reacting badly to criticism, perceived or real
- Jealous of others
- Always unhappy with what they have got.