Well I had to stop writing notes last night because Charlie’s stalking was becoming increasingly intrusive. She quickly walked down the hall and into the bedroom twice and asked me what I was doing on the computer. She just stood there and watched me until I said I was going to bed. She had made a bed for herself downstairs and told Sam that’s where she would sleep, but now she said she was waiting to sleep in the bedroom. So I said I would sleep downstairs if she wasn’t going to. Charlie refused to commit to any arrangement saying she could go where she liked.
Eventually I went into the office area downstairs as there is only one comfy place to sleep in that room. Charlie came to the room next door and turned the TV up loud for an hour, eventually she slept in the TV room on the sofa. I was so stressed by the whole evening that I couldn’t sleep. Charlie turns everything into a battle and makes out that I am starting the fights and being difficult, but I understand now – it’s not me, it’s Charlie and she just uses anything she can to turn it on me.
This morning, we had planned to go and visit one of Charlie’s friends in a new house. It would probably be a decent day, but there’s no way I can pretend I’m doing OK all day and smile after the way I’ve been treated, I feel abused. When I tell Charlie I have decided not to go, she gets upset again. Ollie is there and asks her not to ‘go off on one’. I’ve thought hard about my excuse and simply say that I am exhausted – it’s none confrontational – but I am taking the rap, when really I just can’t stand the idea of being near Charlie. Charlie says we are all going and walks around the house loudly talking about how we’re all going to get ready. Then she tells the children none of us are going because I have ruined the day. I don’t need to receive all this hostility, so I say I need to do the garden and head out in the sun to do noisy hedge trimming until she finally goes on her way. Finally, I have some time to myself.
Another note, Charlie has deleted the mail forwarding filters on our shared email account again. She forwards all the email to a second address, but sometimes she complains that I have moved or deleted emails from the account. I don’t do this on purpose – in fact I usually wait a month before moving any emails that I think she may be watching. So I got fed up of being accused of that game and set up a second forwarder to my own email address. Charlie has deleted it twice now, so I asked her why she was allowed to forward emails, but I am not. She refused to give a rational answer and said it had been the way it was for years and there was no reason to change it. Basically it’s just another method of control. Later in the evening, I get an alert that she has changed the recovery account phone number on the email address. So she is still fiddling and although she says she is trying to get on with me – she’s clearly not too bothered about us.