25th Oct 2021 – You say tomato, a Narc says tomato

Just a small example of how hard it is to parent the children with Charlie around. She is always listening and undermining others conversations with the children.

Today Sam asked if she could take a scone in her school lunch, I jokingly told a story about how the scones were special and not just for any old lunch. The children love a crazy story.

Every time I said the word ‘scone’ with my accent. Charlie in the next room would call out ‘scone’ in her accent. The same as how grass or garage have different pronunciation depending on your accent. It is just unnecessary.

When I later see the children out of control around the house I know it’s because they don’t have clear authority and boundaries. Charlie undermines all my efforts to be consistent and clear with them. She is too disorganised herself to enforce her own. It is not like I even care how the children pronounce some words with common variations. But the pettiness of Charlie is taking away what the children need as they grow up.

10th Oct 2021-Lost to the world

Today Charlie appeared very lost. I took Sam & Evan out for four hours this morning and come back to find Charlie shut away in bedroom. Ollie has just made his own lunch and done what he wanted. I took Ollie off in the afternoon and when I got back, I found similar with Evan sat watching TV by herself and asking if I would stay with her.

Charlie was making lots of negative and random remarks. So took Evan out again and we just played under a tree down the road for 30 mins, when I get back, Charlie has managed to put some sausages in the oven. The food shopping Charlie did earlier is still on the floor in bags where it has been for a few hours. The children are back to school tomorrow but it’s clear tea is going to be late today.

Charlie says she doesn’t have time to do anything more. I have no idea what she has done with herself for most of today other than sit in the dark in the bedroom.

5th Oct 2021 – Excuses to be difficult

Charlie is still lost in her own world. It has been from difficult to impossible all week. She is very confrontational to try and talk to.

The triggering issue seems to be that she’s applied for a job 3 hours away in another state and I have said I’m not interested in moving to a place we’ve never been for a job she hasn’t even started.

Charlie is very frustrated, I appreciate that jobs in our area are harder to come by, but she has an existing stable job with friendly colleagues whilst she does her studies. It’s not like things are that terrible.

Her conversations with myself and children are full of gaslighting. I told her I was sorting insurance and she said she wasn’t interested, then made a few fact less comments about costs of insurance and not liking house ownership. I challenged her to back up her claims with some numbers and she immediately changed tactic to accusing me of hiding the financials from her. When I re-counted her saying she wasn’t interested minutes ago, she denied it..