Month: February 2021

I am out driving with Ollie in the car. He says that Mum has asked him to tell her when he’s had conversations with me and let her know what I say. Sometimes he doesn’t want to tell Mum but he said that he doesn’t have a choice and has to tell her. Charlie thinks I am telling him lies, I ask him what lies and he doesn’t know so I just apologise and feel sad.

Another fight with Charlie. I’m trying to find the TV remote which has been missing for over a week.

I have already tided up different areas of house and am starting to look in obscure places. There is a redundant kids play pen full of old baby things that need passing on. As I go through it, I find a pile of missing books, these are children’s books that I loved reading to Ollie & Sam. I have been looking for them for ages hoping they will turn up so I can read them to Josie. Ollie sees them and is excited too as he likes the books.

Charlie appears and immediately starts saying to leave the books alone as she is sorting them, she gets in the play pen as well and starts fussing as I’m still moving things in it looking for the remote. At the end I get a few books out of the pile to take upstairs, Evan comes in and I show them to her.

Charlie looks very angry, she says she is sorting the books and we need to put them back, she does not show any appreciation that the rest of us want to read them. Ollie is upset, I say I want to read them, so Charlie angrily says she will go upstairs and find some other ones to put in the pile.

Charlie hardly ever even reads books with the children, why does she care. I am fed up with being controlled like this, having Charlie fussing around me right when I’m just trying to find the remote. Previously she was sorting the washing, why does she have to be getting in my way. It feels like she is trying to control me. Stopping me from choosing the books I want to read with the children. They are all just normal children’s books. I tell Charlie that she is controlling me, she says she isn’t, that she is just tidying the playpen and rotating the books. I’m not sure why we rotate books?

Charlie did recently turn the bookshelf into a shoe rack one day and she didn’t discuss or plan that with me. Yet when I do something, she says that I need to discuss it with her first.

I have had it with this nonsense, I tell Charlie it really is over and take my ring off, it’s been on since she put it there 13 years ago. Ollie is in tears, I feel so bad for fighting in front of him, but what can I do, Charlie will never back down, she will never understand that her behaviour is controlling and excessive. I try to assure Ollie it’s for the best and tell Charlie it’s for the best as well. She says she is taking all the children back to her parents. I say we should go back to mediation. Charlie says she does not want to.

Charlie starts following me around the house, she says she never hurt me and I tell her she has. I tell her the police noticed scratches of blood on my wrists after she assaulted me. Charlie says that’s not true and that I am lying. Instead she turns the subject on me and rants about how bad she thinks my family is, it’s totally uncalled for. I challenge Charlie on it and she says she’s just saying the facts. It’s very clear that Charlie doesn’t know she’s been driving me crazy with her behaviour all week. It’s been impossible to have a normal chat with Ollie or Sam. Even at breakfast this morning, I was talking about something random with Sam for about 30 seconds and Charlie appeared asking what was up.

I just keep telling Charlie it’s time to move on and find our own separate ways as she is frustrating me too much. Eventually Charlie has to go and get Sam from a club trip and takes all the children out for a drink.

Our neighbour posts on the street Facebook group that they need a bit of help with their Children on the weekend, no big deal we have previously asked for a bit of extra help on the same group.

I post we can help, Charlie then posts that we might have plans. She did the same thing last time I offered to help as well. So each time I try to help, Charlie passively objects.

In the evening I ask her why and it’s clear she has no real plans, just ideas. I say I want to be able to help and don’t need her if she wants to go off. But then Charlie starts suggesting she will go out and take Ollie with her, it would be weird to look after neighbours children when Ollie is not around and Sam is already booked away with friends.

All I want is Charlie to let me help the neighbours by letting their children hang out with Ollie, Charlie keeps insisting she can take Ollie if she wants to even if she doesn’t yet have a plan. Basically she is controlling the situation by making it obscure and not committing to anything.

We end up shouting and I explain this is hurting us and why it would be easier if we each had our own house and times with children. Eventually Charlie gets pretty upset, walking around talking loudly and being noisy at 10pm when children are asleep.

The next day, she’s still agitated, not organised. She needs to drop Evan at nursery but Evan is not ready so then she’s angry at Evan and telling her she will leave her behind, for a two year old it’s a lot to take. I take Evan out to car to calm her down whilst Charlie continues ranting and fussing, it’s not fair on Evan to receive this aggression.

Charlie has been edgy last couple of days again.

I get home from work and can hear Charlie yelling as I approach the house. Ollie comes running out front door followed by Charlie. From the disturbance, I gather that the issue seems to be around Evan going in Ollies room and playing with toys which bothers Ollie. Charlie is trying to get Ollie to leave his room and make his lunch.

I manage to get Charlie to go back inside and I have a chat with Ollie outside whilst he explains what’s going on. He doesn’t feel he’s being listened to by Charlie. I offer some assurance that Evan likes his toys because Evan looks up to him. I tell Ollie to make his lunch and then he can help me water garden.

As soon as Ollie goes in, Charlie want’s to know what we talked about, so she starts grilling Ollie. He’s trying to make his lunch but Charlie repeatedly demands to know what he’s planned to do with Dad. It’s infuriating, I have just calmed him down and now Charlie is firing him up again.

It’s cringy to listen to Ollie being hassled this way and can’t be good for Ollie. I challenge Charlie that she has been edgy recently which she denies but does at least seem to back off a bit.