Month: December 2020

Christmas day of course.

We open presents. Charlie is disappointed in hers. I’ve never seen her not disappointed. she only has two gifts. I have three, a baseball cap, a food mixer and a t-shirt.

Charlie just looks at me and says ‘is that it’ then she disappears off downstairs. I feel very upset and hurt, there is nothing I can think of that would have made Charlie happy except expensive things and even then she’s not grateful.

I have to sort out children for a while until she’s back. They of course have lots of presents and love the day.

Charlie is in full on controlling mode. Over dinner, all the children are excited about Christmas and what could be better than some family time. We all agree with the children (Sam suggested the idea) that we will do family game night after Evan is asleep.

We’re all aware of the plan, but then when clearing up, Charlie starts talking of taking Evan to see the Christmas lights of a church about 10 minutes away, (An odd thing to do, pretty sure Evan doesn’t care). However it’s not going to be dark for an hour and then still need to get Evan to sleep, so I point out that’s not going to work.

Charlie immediately starts muttering about how she is never able to do what she wants and always has to do what I want. We can all hear her. I am made to be the bad guy, so I tell Charlie she needs to take responsibility and if she wants to go see the lights, she should look after Evan until it’s dark. Charlie then backtracks and says we haven’t yet decided what we’re doing. I’m angry, because we have already decided on playing a game and it was a good idea.

So now we have to get children back to the table to make a new plan. The children are being awkward because their parents are fighting. After much distraction, we eventually agree again to do what we all originally planned.

Christmas is coming and I’m trying to be organised. I get home from work 20 minutes early to do my part. I don’t even get far enough in the door to say hello to children when Charlie says she needs me to make dinner. She then starts getting food out and turning oven on like I am going to start right that moment and I am 12 years old.

I explain I’m not starting any cooking yet, I just need to say Hi to children. Charlie then stands watching us. As soon as I ask Ollie about his medicine, he’s missed his second dose whilst Charlie was caring for him, I go to get it but Charlie races off saying she will do it and basically taking over the conversation. I say I’m doing it – Charlie retorts that I should cook dinner and says that I always take over things she is doing. She throws medicine at me but I’m upset so I say I’m off out. It’s just exhausting coming in from work to have to deal with this sort of nonsense.

Charlie then runs out the house before saying she is going out. The children want to talk, but Charlie shouts over them and starts having a go at me in front of them. It’s so very hard to get anything done without Charlie interfering. I try to focus on what needs doing and calm Charlie down. We agree I will stay and do dinner. I think we have a plan.

Then Charlie says she’s going out for dinner and taking Sam to McDonalds so I put their tea back in freezer. But Charlie is just saying any old rubbish to annoy me and it turns out they don’t to to McDonalds so I get blamed for not making dinner, when Sam says she’s hungry.

There is just nothing I can do to deal with this abuse. Charlie is so determine to score some kind of point that there is no path to placate here. Nothing I can do aside from complete submission to Charlie will avoid an argument and it sucks.

Charlie continues being anxious all weekend. She’s loud and talks in stressed tones with the children.

I manage to sneak a nap when the children are in the garden only to be woken up by Charlie outside shouting at them. The garden is on the other side of the house.

The constant hassle about giving Ollie medicine continues as well. He’s clearly in pain and suffering, why can’t she just let him have the antibiotics. I had to resort to sneaking Ollie his medicine when Charlie was not looking as she’s making both of us uncomfortable.

The next day, it’s torture with all this nonsense. If Charlie put this much effort into her own life, she might actually find she could do something good for herself. She’s still following me around and trying to be controlling – when I put washing on, she’s downstairs as well clearing away washing that’s not dry and telling me how to use washing machine (I don’t need telling). I had to later get the wet washing back out the basket and put it back on the line to finish drying.

Lots of Charlie walking around talking to herself and being totally disorganised which makes it hard for anybody else to make plans.

Charlie is Frustrated today. She has been told she needs to take a course to return to work.

Charlie becomes agitated and takes out her feelings on the family. I have just been to get Ollie’s ear checked due to him crying in pain. Charlie makes it clear to me that she disagrees with Dr’s prescription of antibiotics. She carries on with repeated muttering and disdainful tone where Ollie can hear her. Charlie makes it hard and awkward to look after the children’s health needs.

After dinner she becomes even more loud and grumpy after tea, she starts following me around and not the helping children, talking in a louder voice than the children and over the top of them. It’s quite frankly ridiculous, when I ask her to stop because Evan is almost asleep. Charlie has a rant and then slams the bedroom door waking Evan up again so she starts wandering out of bed. Charlie has never had the patience to settle Evan, so I have to leave Ollie and settle Evan for the second time that eve.

Charlie shows no remorse and continues following me around as I try to settle the older two. She’s listening as I chat to Ollie, then when I start helping Ollie with lunch ,she follows us into kitchen and tries to say she is doing it. I have to repeatedly ask her to give Ollie & myself space. All Ollie wants to do is play a card game with me, it shouldn’t be awkward.