Month: November 2020

Had chat to Charlie last night about going to a family assessment session. It didn’t get a positive response.

Charlie in very difficult mood all day on 30th -she’s very obstructive and hard on children.

She says she will take Sam to sports club I then she doesn’t. Then when I offer Charlie drags Sam off at the last minute.

Charlie comes back and is talking to herself about negative thoughts so everyone can here – saying she’s a hostage, spitting loudly on floor. As leave on planned trip with Ollie a pile of toys crash down the stairs behind us, there’s a very loud bang from something in the house as we get in the car.

Sam sees it all, Charlie starts announcing to the children that she will take away the pocket money I’ve been giving them since start of term. In the car Ollie starts talking about domestic violence, they were taught about it at school on Monday (white shirt day), he sees what’s going on and that is what he thinks is happening – he’s very anxious. Specifically about Charlie threatening to take her own life.

Charlie continues the whole day, being obstructive and throwing verbal insults. It’s not clear what she is doing around the house or why, just freaky behaviour moving things, including children’s things around.

Charlie is very unapproachable. I find a torn up letter from Sam’s dentist to Charlie saying Sam is due an appointment. I have no idea how I am going to make that happen.

Charlie complains most days that she cannot cope with 3 children. She says it’s too much. Whenever I check, it seems the children are fine, it’s Charlie that isn’t in the right head space.

For example. All 3 children are up at 6.30am, Charlie is in bed on her laptop, I’ve come in from a run.

By 7am, the children have had breakfast by themselves Charlie is still not around.

By 7.15 Charlie is up and sounding stressed/frustrated at the children, harassing them to be ready for school. But they have done most of what they need to do. It’s vexing hearing the children being blamed when they are organised and Charlie is not/

At 7.30, Ollie & Sam are downstairs, dressed and saying they are ready. Ollie says he needs to leave to music lesson, but Charlie is still not ready. Ollies lesson starts at 7.45.

At 7.40, Charlie is breastfeeding Evan, I’m not sure why, Evan has eaten breakfast already. So I get Ollie in the car and to the music lesson.

I also walk Sam to school for 8.30. Charlie only drops off Evan who can be dropped at Nursery any time.

During the whole process, Charlie says she can’t cope with school mornings and blames children for not being ready – but Charlie was 30 minutes later at getting out of bed than anyone else and just not organised/focused on what she needs to do.

This is a regular scenario the whole family has to go through. Nobody except Charlie even knows what was so important that she was on her laptop first thing.

Evan’s birthday this time.

Charlie sets up gifts from her family for Evan. There is a card mentioning our family name which of course comes from my side of the family. The name has been scrubbed out by Charlie and all the children see it.

When gifts from my friends, family are opened, Charlie is right there making negative passive aggressive about them all ‘a dress is for winter’, ‘a book she has something similar already’, ‘a toy phone is for a younger child’.

Charlie proceeds to quickly clear the table for tea (which hasn’t started to be cooked).

When I put up cards from my family, she stands next to me and as soon as I walk away, she takes them down. She is so obstructive to the children’s relationship with my side of the family for no real reason. I feel very hurt and rejected.